The Lively White Lilies and My Spider Webs
Sometimes I feel like I’m such a cruel, mean, a hard-pusher girl ever lived, as if I swallow all the good things nice people have inside then just leave them dying alone and what’s left of me is satisfied laughter.
And I just walk, walk, walk away, run, run, and hide beside the so-called innocence which people usually think is my bright ability.
So I poured some waters into my white lilies growing up in the garden of my palace where everybody always commented beautiful and lively. They never grew up so instantly cuz I only give them life occasionally. What the neighbours don’t know is what lies beneath the wonderful greengrass–such a dark, spider-web-walls and rooftops, that’s always been a forbidden room they could ever walk into.
And these tears came out of the corner of my eyes cuz I never feel as lively as them who could grow in peaceful air as now these problems attacking my sane days. The thing I feel like regreting cuz it has to do with some people’s hearts and feelings, and I just suck their happiness like Dementors do so they can only be crying and staring into spider webs with an empty feelings inside their no-longer breathing hearts.
What do I do? Hung up the telephone and slept and dreamt about the other victims! What on earth do I really want? Satisfaction? Admiration? Popularity? Significant position? Stared-eyes from the jealous?
I only make them cry…
Nothing I can do to fix it but make silence.
I know I’m a fool the Merlin’s Beard ever swore off!
AND I’M SOOOOOO SORRY.
Please forgive me, God, PLEASE.